Deja Vu is Wormhole of the Mind

Opiates vibrate, just like pain.  

Pain vibrates in a steady roll........and it hits and rolls like cold, steady waves.  

It hurts.  Thankfully, opiates combat that pain....

They vibrate a sort of electric ecstasy, and that makes the physical pain somehow less commanding.  Opiates are God's wafers...

That night, I hosted their communion, and the opiates did their job.  Their warmth vibrated with me and swallowed the heaviest pain; I felt relaxed enough to fall into a deep sleep. 

I didn't know I had a fever.  I didn't know an infection spread inside my body. 

 Carlos woke to my moaning and thrashing.  The bed--covered in sweat--vibrated differently.  When Carlos reached over and felt my fever, he knew the danger.  He pushed the thermometer into my mouth and saw the electronic display flash 106. 

 Carlos went into a panic and pulled at my unresponsive arm. 

                "Get up!" he shouted

          I tried to roll away from him—I tried to retreat back into the warm opiate fever—and I told him to leave me alone, but I had no real strength to fight his insistent urging.  

          He knew the seriousness of my condition.  I remember the force with which he yanked me, pulling desperately on my arm. I was sweaty and thirsty and disoriented, but I managed to put up a weak struggle.  

I didn’t want to go back to the hospital, I didn't want to sit shivering in the waiting room, so I growled, "No!" Carlos growled back.  

          He called out my name, and I recognized the sound as his voice as a familiar, layered geometric and symbolic command to return.  

          "Goddammit!” He shouted, “You will not die!  Get up! We're going to the hospital!"  With the thermometer pressed to my face, he said, "106! I’m not going to lay here and die!

          The words pulled me back.  

          "Let me die...." I said, and I meant it, too.  But Carlos did not honor my request.  He gripped tightly onto the bony part of my arm, right underneath the elbow, and forcibly dragged my dead weight from the bed.

          I don't remember much of anything, but I know I ended up back at the ER, only this time there was no waiting. This time, a team of medics strapped me to a gurney and rushed me down a maze of brightly lit hallways where I went directly into surgery.

          Three days later I awoke in the ICU, plastic tubes connecting my body to machines.  The world blurred, and the noises seemed far away, somehow muffled. 

Everything went dark.

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